There is something interesting and amazing going on. I believe I had my first revelation in years about something.
This weekend, my mentor used this phrase again:
“People are always trying to get a revelation to be able to explain it, or teach it, or communicate it. Instead, they should be pursuing it to walk in it.”
Now, there are years behind my little revelation here, and it will sound too simple in writing, because I cannot explain it, teach it, or communicate it.
To better explain it, my mentor began teaching on grace (eternal security, unmerited favor of God) about 5 or 6 years ago. We closed the church after preaching for a year. He continued to work on it. Slowly, God showed him about ‘receiving,’ and at this point it is ‘the now anointing.’
I have been working through how to understand what my mentor means by “now.” I mean, I KNOW what he means when he says that ‘God has already paid the price for every good and perfect gift (grace), we just need to receive it (receiving) now! (the now anointing.)’
I KNOW what he is saying logically, but I have spent so much time trying to explain it that I have overlooked flowing in a spirit of receiving all that Christ has paid for NOW in my life.
We rarely look and spend any time on focusing on aligning our mind and spirit with receiving those things. We settle for being able to explain it. We rarely see it manifested.
For example, if the Word says that God teaches us to prosper and adds no sorrow to it, then why do people not see themselves knowing how to prosper? Of, if they do prosper, why are they usually so full of sorrow, confusion and regret? If the Word says that by His stripes we were healed, why do Christians walk around unhealthy, handicapped, and sick? If the Bible promises that we are now living in the spirit, that we have been set free from the bondages of this world, that we should give on every occasion, that we will be lenders and not borrowers, that if we ask we shall receive, that we are to be Christ’s example here in the earth THEN WHY AREN’T MOST CHRISTIANS WALKING IN IT? Why am I NOT WALKING IN IT?
So, I stop and realize that I have a mental understanding of these things, but I have not aligned my faith for them. I mean, seriously, it means one of two things. A) God is not real or B) I lack faith on these things. (I know that there is a lot of underlying theology here. I assume you can work through some of that yourself. a] the bible is the inerrant word of God. b] you have already tried to live out the Christian life and have messed up as much as I had. etc.)
The Grace Teaching helps us to realize that everything Christ promises we do not have to strive for. It is given to us, free of charge to us. Christ paid the price. If that is true, then every good thing in the word should be mine. But there is a breakdown somewhere. People have not received. I have not received.
So, the Receiving Teaching comes along and says that we do not have to DO anything to receive. We just need to know how to receive. For mental, rational people like me, this has been difficult. What got in my way was trying to understand. To communicate to people what my revelation was, my “click over” if you will, I say it like this.
I asked myself why I was trying to understand it.
Well, I responded, I guess so I can explain it.
Why am I trying to explain it? Who am I explaining it to?
I guess so I can help other people understand it.
Understand what?
My revelation on Grace, Receiving, and finally flowing in the miraculous Christ says He died for.
Is that a revelation for you? Is that manifesting in your life?
Well, uh, no.
And my mind clicked over and I thought, I need to stop trying to understand it. I need to focus on believing it.
I believe that the Receiving Teaching is nothing more than a teaching on BELIEVING in what Christ has said about us. We know it. We do not believe it yet. If we did, we would be manifesting it.
This weekend, getting this “click over”, was more of a revelation. I have stopped trying to understand, and just started to receive it.
And I fully believe the teaching my mentor gave on praying in tongues helped me get here. A short time ago, he began teaching that praying in tongues is the key to living the Christian life that Christ taught about. He believes that “it is the perfect being praying the perfect will in the perfect timing for our lives.” Romans 8:26-28.
Eliminating English from my prayers and only praying in tongues has had the following effect on my life. It has disengaged my mind from the process. I have stopped trying to understand anything. When someone asks me what I think, I find that my mind is pretty much empty for the first time in my entire life.
As a thinker, I am usually aggressively pondering things and trying to explain them and understand them. After praying in tongues a little bit (half hour up to an hour a day concentrated), I found that my thoughts were not formulating any real ideas. I felt boring in that I did not have anything interesting to say. As all of my friends in Lakeland here are building businesses and planning and moving their life forward, I find that I have put down my plans for tomorrow.
I am yielding my plans. I am yielding my ideas of what should be and what shouldn’t be. More and more, as I pray in tongues, I begin to truly zero-base my thoughts, beliefs and emotions. I become more and more a mental blank slate. I am not trying to be able to explain it. I am not trying to build my own life.
Praying in tongues is yielding our mind, and that is the first step to yielding our lives.
That being said, I feel that this weekend I have my first real thought in some time. This mental click-over with being able to receive was, I believe, my first thought derived from emptying my mind from praying in tongues.
That all being said, lets put this together now.
I believe that I have finally had a revelation about Grace for the first time in 5-6 years. I believe that I have a first sliver of revelation about what it is to first receive the grace of God, receive the zoe life, the life eternal. I believe I am gaining a revelation on the power of tongues.
Instead of trying to first understand and then get blessed, I am simply yielding, receiving, believing God will fulfill His work of grace in me, and then, maybe if I am lucky, will I understand it.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Transitional
For me, this has been a rather unique breath of nothingness over the last few weeks. After the changes with my main client, I kept going to the office. I was seeking what I should be doing, scraping together client work, and trying to figure out “what next.”
The Kruses moving here, provision coming to me from random places, and a general unfruitfulness with most of my busyness, I began to understand that it was a time to do…nothing.
So, I have been getting up, praying, getting ready and going to Panera (I moved all of my stuff out of the office entirely). Sitting at Panera, coffee with the Kruses, and networking on the phone have been my most frequent activities, but most of my waking hours have been spent praying in my spirit. (Terry enlightened me further with 1st Corinthians 2:6-14 as to the power and implications of praying in the spirit.)
I feel that so many areas of my life are coming to a close. I feel doors shutting in my heart, like steel doors clamoring sealed on many things. I feel as if I have been standing at the mouth of a cave, facing out over a tropical vista, and a steel door clanging loudly behind me as it seals off the cave.
I do not know what that means, but that is how I feel: released.
I feel released.
When I put the last item from the office into my car and made my way to Panera for the first time in ages, I felt further release. I felt a return to the mentality I had when I moved here; I have a gentle apprehension about what God is ending in my life, a soothing peace about not doing anything right now, and total excitement about what is coming next.
And other than that, I know…nothing.
I feel good; living in the middle of the now…at least for a season.
The Kruses moving here, provision coming to me from random places, and a general unfruitfulness with most of my busyness, I began to understand that it was a time to do…nothing.
So, I have been getting up, praying, getting ready and going to Panera (I moved all of my stuff out of the office entirely). Sitting at Panera, coffee with the Kruses, and networking on the phone have been my most frequent activities, but most of my waking hours have been spent praying in my spirit. (Terry enlightened me further with 1st Corinthians 2:6-14 as to the power and implications of praying in the spirit.)
I feel that so many areas of my life are coming to a close. I feel doors shutting in my heart, like steel doors clamoring sealed on many things. I feel as if I have been standing at the mouth of a cave, facing out over a tropical vista, and a steel door clanging loudly behind me as it seals off the cave.
I do not know what that means, but that is how I feel: released.
I feel released.
When I put the last item from the office into my car and made my way to Panera for the first time in ages, I felt further release. I felt a return to the mentality I had when I moved here; I have a gentle apprehension about what God is ending in my life, a soothing peace about not doing anything right now, and total excitement about what is coming next.
And other than that, I know…nothing.
I feel good; living in the middle of the now…at least for a season.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Laminin and the Cross
A good friend sent this to me today. It was amazing how integrated our lives are with our creator.
Laminin is, according to Wikipedia, "vital to making sure overall body structures hold together." Its a powerful protein molecule that holds our bodies together. This video puts the protein molecule laminin into a good context!
(The interconnnectedness of life astounds me daily.)
Laminin is, according to Wikipedia, "vital to making sure overall body structures hold together." Its a powerful protein molecule that holds our bodies together. This video puts the protein molecule laminin into a good context!
(The interconnnectedness of life astounds me daily.)
Monday, April 28, 2008
California, Lakeland, and Haiti
Family,
I wanted to touch base, recap, and cast vision for what has been going on, what is happening, and what will be happening with me in the future.
Why? Well, as much as we got to hang out in the CA, I don’t feel that I got to communicate too thoroughly with many of you.
First, I wanted to say again how much fun I had out there. With each trip, there are high points, and one of them was when mom and I hit a tumble weed on the drive up to Monterey. We were in the desert area of I-5 watching the dust devils, when we looked up and saw, no lie, a tumbleweed. TUMBLEWEED. I mean, didn’t those things go extinct in the early 1800’s? None-the-less, bobbing and weaving, we barely avoided the tumbleweed. The mighty contrast the California desert makes with the cold nip of Monterey is astounding. I still don’t really know how to articulate it.
Also, I didn’t get to share this with many of you, but while visiting Long Beach, I was able to visit the most amazing book store called Acres of Books. It was quite overwhelming in that there is every book, from every century, on every topic on every square inch of every shelf in every acre of book available. The old warehouse-converted-to-a-book store had dusty shelves, some barely nailed to one another. The aisles were barely shoulder-width, and at least the height of two men. (Who knows what ancient tome lay on the top shelf? More importantly, who knows how it got there?)
I meandered as if taking a tour on a set of Harry Potter in some ancient ruin. I found a back corner called The War Room where decades and decades of war manuals, war history, strategy and biographies of warriors lay. It was impressive. Set even further in the corner of this corner room was a room called International Policy. This was like finding King Solomon’s Mines for me. There was so much treasured information from a golden age of international politics, ambassadorship, and national management. There were biographies of key ambassadors and world leaders. There were books on ideologies of delivering aide to developing nations, and it was one of these books I finally purchased. World Without Want, written in 1962 by Paul G. Hoffman, then Director of the United Nations Special Funds, has been far and away the best foundation for world changing I have yet seen. Every minister and missionary should read this book.
Oh! How many more leather-bound treasures lay in this building? I may never know.
NOW, however, Clark and Nicole are shipped off on the next stage of their adventure. Mom is back in Laguna looking for work and maintaining her cats. Dad is back on night-shift duty, sustaining cardiac patients. Heath and Ally are back in Vienna, VA, working at the bank and studying economics. David is drawing students down their educational paths. And I am here in Lakeland, enjoying the warm sun and lake breezes, wondering what is coming next. My bottle of wine from David, the Fratelli(?), is now resting and collecting dust. My luggage is finally unpacked.
There were a few surprises upon returning. Not only had the nation’s first, serious revival in 10 years broken out here (Terry and Donna drove out this weekend to check it out, and it was full! We got turned away!), and the plumbing at our rental called it quits permanently (showering at the gym until we find a new place, but, hey! I have to work out daily to justify it), but my main client, the “group” of people I always mention here, has temporarily had its funds dry up.
The thing that interested me the most is how calm and collected I react to these things. If only I could imbue you all with the sense of overwhelming peace I operate under most of the time, I would do so. Even though I am wired most of the time, and move at a rapid clip, inside there is a slowness, a peace that I cannot explain, so I dare not try.
Assessing the situation from strictly a financial perspective caused me some concern; I had just spent all of my personal reserve on the trip. Expecting to return with steady income from this one client and finding something else, I learned quickly that I was too confident in my circumstances, and should always a) have multiple clients (I knew this! I just didn’t “know” it,) and b) have double the reserve at all times than I originally thought.
By the grace of God, just before I found out about the loss of my client, I received a phone call from a past client for whom I had completed some web work. He had more work for me, if I had the time. Not knowing about the loss of my main client, I said I could fit something in. He asked my rate. I told him. He negotiated to increase that rate, offered to pay for my learning curve on some specific items, and then we got started! This was a huge blessing in that merely an hour later I found out that things were not so steady with my main client.
Along with that, I have put together a proposal to another potential client for assembling his business plan and creating his web presence with several media including books, audio and video. Lastly, I am contacting another gentleman with whom I have done some consulting in the Planning and Zoning world.
Throw in other random things; like the stock I had forgotten that I bought almost 2 years ago at $6 a share and is now worth a couple hundred dollars, or the partnership with Terry to find vacant land nationwide for one of his partners; all in all, I am very blessed.
Say it again! What a blessing this has been! My client-base has expanded. My partnership with Chad, my house mate and friend, for real estate and private lending is taking huge strides forward. I learned more in the last week than many would learn in semesters at college. (You cannot learn better about financial management than to feel the sting of a $0 balance and the sole stream of income drying up immediately.)
The Future is bright, actually. It looks like my main client will have funds this week, so he will catch me up with a month’s worth of billing. I have my positioning with my new clientele. And, here is the kicker: some work I had done for a group here with their eyes set on Haiti has paid off in that I was invited to go with them in the end of May! How ecstatic I am to be considering going abroad to serve again. This first trip will be short to assess the situation with our local infrastructure. We should have approximately 100 cell groups throughout the country, and 7 schools and training centers. So we are going to verify if those ministers are truly involved, find potential economic opportunities to train the locals, and more clearly define how we can serve.
Upon our return, we will be pushing forward a master-strategy for the entire country. I have a desire to formulate our board similar to forming a president’s cabinet, directing major affairs from Education (Formal and Trade Education), to Health and Medicine, to Infrastructure, to Economics and more.
I feel as if my human capital has gone through the roof in this formative time. I feel capable and confident to handle, strategize, and improve any situation I am handed. Though I may need to go get an employee situation (J-O-B) at some point temporarily, I feel that my Self-Employed situation is strong and hopeful. I may be able to do my dream (helping in a 3rd world country) in under 30 days, provided I pull the financing together.
More importantly, I still have my freedom.
I so appreciate what I have had up to this point.
I woke up today in my right mind.
I have hope and a vision for my life tomorrow and on.
What more could I ask?
With that, I pray that all is well. Let me know how things are going, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Most Sincerely,
Grant R. Nieddu
(772) 321-1840
Grant.nieddu@gmail.com
P.S.
Cheyenne, I copied this to you in an effort to begin communicating with Simon. Should I just write to you when wanting to communicate with you both?
Dad, I wish we got more time to speak about Haiti. I returned and found my 3-ring binder, which I wish to forward to you. I will have a document to send to you this week sometime from the group, called Cornerstone International Ministries. Once I send it to you and you have a chance to look it over, we can return to looking at your plan, and strategize from there.
Heath and Ally, the shots of your climb were awesome. That would have been amazing. I am WAY jealous.
Clark and Nicole, keep up the hard, dedicated work. If I can help in any way, let me know!
Mom, how did the nanny application go?
Dave, thank you again for San Luis Obispo. That was fantastic just to hang at a slow pace. I really appreciate it. Keep me informed about the move East!
I wanted to touch base, recap, and cast vision for what has been going on, what is happening, and what will be happening with me in the future.
Why? Well, as much as we got to hang out in the CA, I don’t feel that I got to communicate too thoroughly with many of you.
First, I wanted to say again how much fun I had out there. With each trip, there are high points, and one of them was when mom and I hit a tumble weed on the drive up to Monterey. We were in the desert area of I-5 watching the dust devils, when we looked up and saw, no lie, a tumbleweed. TUMBLEWEED. I mean, didn’t those things go extinct in the early 1800’s? None-the-less, bobbing and weaving, we barely avoided the tumbleweed. The mighty contrast the California desert makes with the cold nip of Monterey is astounding. I still don’t really know how to articulate it.
Also, I didn’t get to share this with many of you, but while visiting Long Beach, I was able to visit the most amazing book store called Acres of Books. It was quite overwhelming in that there is every book, from every century, on every topic on every square inch of every shelf in every acre of book available. The old warehouse-converted-to-a-book store had dusty shelves, some barely nailed to one another. The aisles were barely shoulder-width, and at least the height of two men. (Who knows what ancient tome lay on the top shelf? More importantly, who knows how it got there?)
I meandered as if taking a tour on a set of Harry Potter in some ancient ruin. I found a back corner called The War Room where decades and decades of war manuals, war history, strategy and biographies of warriors lay. It was impressive. Set even further in the corner of this corner room was a room called International Policy. This was like finding King Solomon’s Mines for me. There was so much treasured information from a golden age of international politics, ambassadorship, and national management. There were biographies of key ambassadors and world leaders. There were books on ideologies of delivering aide to developing nations, and it was one of these books I finally purchased. World Without Want, written in 1962 by Paul G. Hoffman, then Director of the United Nations Special Funds, has been far and away the best foundation for world changing I have yet seen. Every minister and missionary should read this book.
Oh! How many more leather-bound treasures lay in this building? I may never know.
NOW, however, Clark and Nicole are shipped off on the next stage of their adventure. Mom is back in Laguna looking for work and maintaining her cats. Dad is back on night-shift duty, sustaining cardiac patients. Heath and Ally are back in Vienna, VA, working at the bank and studying economics. David is drawing students down their educational paths. And I am here in Lakeland, enjoying the warm sun and lake breezes, wondering what is coming next. My bottle of wine from David, the Fratelli(?), is now resting and collecting dust. My luggage is finally unpacked.
There were a few surprises upon returning. Not only had the nation’s first, serious revival in 10 years broken out here (Terry and Donna drove out this weekend to check it out, and it was full! We got turned away!), and the plumbing at our rental called it quits permanently (showering at the gym until we find a new place, but, hey! I have to work out daily to justify it), but my main client, the “group” of people I always mention here, has temporarily had its funds dry up.
The thing that interested me the most is how calm and collected I react to these things. If only I could imbue you all with the sense of overwhelming peace I operate under most of the time, I would do so. Even though I am wired most of the time, and move at a rapid clip, inside there is a slowness, a peace that I cannot explain, so I dare not try.
Assessing the situation from strictly a financial perspective caused me some concern; I had just spent all of my personal reserve on the trip. Expecting to return with steady income from this one client and finding something else, I learned quickly that I was too confident in my circumstances, and should always a) have multiple clients (I knew this! I just didn’t “know” it,) and b) have double the reserve at all times than I originally thought.
By the grace of God, just before I found out about the loss of my client, I received a phone call from a past client for whom I had completed some web work. He had more work for me, if I had the time. Not knowing about the loss of my main client, I said I could fit something in. He asked my rate. I told him. He negotiated to increase that rate, offered to pay for my learning curve on some specific items, and then we got started! This was a huge blessing in that merely an hour later I found out that things were not so steady with my main client.
Along with that, I have put together a proposal to another potential client for assembling his business plan and creating his web presence with several media including books, audio and video. Lastly, I am contacting another gentleman with whom I have done some consulting in the Planning and Zoning world.
Throw in other random things; like the stock I had forgotten that I bought almost 2 years ago at $6 a share and is now worth a couple hundred dollars, or the partnership with Terry to find vacant land nationwide for one of his partners; all in all, I am very blessed.
Say it again! What a blessing this has been! My client-base has expanded. My partnership with Chad, my house mate and friend, for real estate and private lending is taking huge strides forward. I learned more in the last week than many would learn in semesters at college. (You cannot learn better about financial management than to feel the sting of a $0 balance and the sole stream of income drying up immediately.)
The Future is bright, actually. It looks like my main client will have funds this week, so he will catch me up with a month’s worth of billing. I have my positioning with my new clientele. And, here is the kicker: some work I had done for a group here with their eyes set on Haiti has paid off in that I was invited to go with them in the end of May! How ecstatic I am to be considering going abroad to serve again. This first trip will be short to assess the situation with our local infrastructure. We should have approximately 100 cell groups throughout the country, and 7 schools and training centers. So we are going to verify if those ministers are truly involved, find potential economic opportunities to train the locals, and more clearly define how we can serve.
Upon our return, we will be pushing forward a master-strategy for the entire country. I have a desire to formulate our board similar to forming a president’s cabinet, directing major affairs from Education (Formal and Trade Education), to Health and Medicine, to Infrastructure, to Economics and more.
I feel as if my human capital has gone through the roof in this formative time. I feel capable and confident to handle, strategize, and improve any situation I am handed. Though I may need to go get an employee situation (J-O-B) at some point temporarily, I feel that my Self-Employed situation is strong and hopeful. I may be able to do my dream (helping in a 3rd world country) in under 30 days, provided I pull the financing together.
More importantly, I still have my freedom.
I so appreciate what I have had up to this point.
I woke up today in my right mind.
I have hope and a vision for my life tomorrow and on.
What more could I ask?
With that, I pray that all is well. Let me know how things are going, and I look forward to hearing from you soon!
Most Sincerely,
Grant R. Nieddu
(772) 321-1840
Grant.nieddu@gmail.com
P.S.
Cheyenne, I copied this to you in an effort to begin communicating with Simon. Should I just write to you when wanting to communicate with you both?
Dad, I wish we got more time to speak about Haiti. I returned and found my 3-ring binder, which I wish to forward to you. I will have a document to send to you this week sometime from the group, called Cornerstone International Ministries. Once I send it to you and you have a chance to look it over, we can return to looking at your plan, and strategize from there.
Heath and Ally, the shots of your climb were awesome. That would have been amazing. I am WAY jealous.
Clark and Nicole, keep up the hard, dedicated work. If I can help in any way, let me know!
Mom, how did the nanny application go?
Dave, thank you again for San Luis Obispo. That was fantastic just to hang at a slow pace. I really appreciate it. Keep me informed about the move East!
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